What’s the SX? of SXCoach?
Posted September 1, 2011on:
SX is me; they are my initials, and I am the founder of the Couples Course, a path to deepening your connection with those around you, and 15-Minute SX, a mindful sexuality practice.
I have been going by those initials for years when teaching courses or coaching students and couples. As someone once told me, you can pronounce it “sex,” and that made me laugh. I found it one of those rare serendipitous moments… and it stuck. I’m Sex (SX) and the site is Sex Coach (SXCoach) Get it?
OK, I think I just threw up a little in my mouth. I hope you are laughing at little at that, because I do not take myself too seriously. I have been asked to “grow up” several times. My response has always been the same “Why?” At which point those who ask truly struggle to find an answer. What is “expected” is rarely fun, and I am a firm believer in the joy and play in life.
In the Couple Course I could talk about psychological archetypes, the shame society places on sex, and Buddhist philosophy as it relates to Prana, our sex, and our connection with others. However, you may fall asleep while I did so, and I may fall asleep right after that.
And that is why the Couples Course is fun. Integrating who I am in my life is so essential to my teaching others.
So why do I believe I can help you connect in a deep and visceral way with the world around you? Why do I believe that I can help super-charge your sex life? and help enable you to have deep meaningful relationships?
Because I, am you. No, scratch that; I was in worse shape than anyone who will ever read this. Before I woke up and discovered I could live the life I wanted if I just got rid of everything I expected it to be, I was living the blissfully ignorant life of the unconscious. And then, in sequence of events I had a stroke, my father died, my fiancee left me, and lost my job. The entire decade of the 00′s was, one big long implosion.
However, and this is where it gets good, I started to question everything I had learned, every little societal lesson, and I went back to square one. I took every self-help, development course that existed, from Landmark Forum, to crazy whacked out sexuality practices. I was searching for something, some answer, something external to me, and then, I woke up, and looked inward.
There were reasons that all of this happened. I’m not talking about big cosmic reasons, I am talking instead about looking at the world differently. Not as if things were being done to me, but realizing and accepting my part in all of it. I learned to take 100% responsibility for my actions, and my part in relationships. And I learned with open eyes and an open heart for the first time.
Why can I help? Because unlike some people who are born open-hearted and easily connect with others, I had to build those skills step-by-step. And when you have to build something this way, you begin to understand how it is put together in a way others, who just receive a gift, do not know.
The process was so transformative for me that I wanted to help others feel the same sense of freedom. To help men and women, who may be shutdown around sexuality and touch, connect with their bodies and each other. To enable clear communication, without all of the blame, story, and suspicion we have been taught.
Over the years I developed a fivefold framework as way to help guide students in a more structured manner through the minefields of intimacy and connection.
Welcome. It’s an amazing journey you are are about to undertake… and it all begins now.